I wish we would never have these type of days, you know the ones where we feel so down in the dumps that nothing can make it a better day. I wish there was a genie that would come and make the day better… But, we are all human and we will have these days. I try not to let myself have a “pity party” because life is way to short but COME ON who are we kidding??? I guess for me I get down because I tend to keep everything inside. All my emotions all what I am feeling stays bottled up until I cant take it any more and it is like a Bomb explodes. I need a way to vent, so I plan on writing my thoughts here. So in the future I can always look back and see where I came from.
I think the hardest thing I am going through is CHANGE. Now, don’t get me wrong I love change but my life changed wayyyyy to fast. I was a working mom, 40 hrs a week. I would talk to adults everyday, I felt important and I was doing a job that brought the income in. I have always been a very independent person so that was what made me happy was providing for my family. But a week before I had Laya, I stopped working and became a SAHM while my husband went off to work. Now, that is a huge change for me and to top that off a week after leaving my job I had my precious baby girl. So two life vents happened all in a span of two weeks. I really didn’t have time to adjust slowly. Which, I know its life and I need to get over it, but how do you tell your brain this. Sometimes I feel like I am not good enough and I cant stand feeling like that. Not a good enough mother, wife or heck even a friend. I wish some one would just take my hand and say “Cyndy, you are doing a good job” I haven't felt like I am in a long time and it bummed me out. I lost all my pre-pregnancy weight after Laya was born and I feel it coming back and that gets me upset. I know I am a strong person because I have always been since the day I was born I have held my head up high and never gave in, but these days I feel my spirit changing… I know I need to go to church I know I need to find the happiness in myself, but that’s harder said then done. So if you happen to browse upon this, Thank you for reading. 
Peace, Love and Happiness
Cyn<3
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